At the beginning of the week, I tried unsuccessfully to plan a day that would include my mother, my mother-in-law and me. It would be easy if we were all spending the same time together. But that wouldn’t be the case. I would need to see my mother, then my mother-in-law, and then make sure there was room for me, a mother.
All I really wanted was to spend the day with my own family, my four kids and my husband. Yet we have mothers who should and need to be honored, so it’s important to see them too, and they live fairly close so there’s no real distance to get in the way. We also each have siblings, most of whom are parents and have their own plans. I tried to plan around everyone and include seeing our mothers. It failed.
My mom didn’t want to go to lunch; my mother-in-law who seemed insulted but I’m not sure made her own plan because I had apparently made a plan. I got frustrated and no longer wanted to see anyone.
Was I being too nice? Was I trying to do too much? Was I trying to control the day for everyone? I don’t know which of these is true or if it’s all the above. What I do know is I spent a week being angry at everyone and feeling that no one was willing to work together. My husband calls it “everyone puts themselves first and you don’t”. I needed to let go. After all, I got what I wanted: I would be going to lunch with my husband and four kids. But something about the way the day got unplanned felt unsettling. I was not happy with the outcome, so it was hard to let go.
Here’s the thing: I have to let go. Everyone makes their own choices for whatever reason they do. I can’t accommodate everyone and make people do what I want, even if I happen to have the best (;0) idea. I can enjoy the sunshine, my kids, my friends, and some favorite mothers who I will think about throughout the day. I can love life, the birds I hear tweeting, the numerous butterflies I see landing and flying and dodging and darting. I can enjoy discoveries like the bird’s nest with new baby birds in the hedge along my front yard. I can appreciate the wonderful cards and gifts my children hand made just for me. I can enjoy the promise of spring and focus on the things that will bloom from the positive choices I make. Including the choice to let go.
Enjoy the day. Enjoy the sunshine. Watch the butterflies. They seek the sweetness in life.